It was October 2014 when I realized I had Aphasia.

I didn’t think about it much since then.  I wrote about it every year, but didn’t  take into accounted what it really meant.

You don’t realize how frustrating this REALLY is; I STILL can not get my words to come out correctly.

I will give you an example.  Yesterday, I spoke with my friend Keith, who is a fellow stroke survivor. I planned out my talk with him, because I wanted to be prepared.  In my notes, I had planned what I wanted to say… and read it over multiple times.  When Kieth called me, it want great. Then I wanted to explain why I wanted to talk; it was a disaster!!!  I taped the conversation (I will share if you would like to hear it) and I still can’t believe it!  I just mumbled my words and couldn’t get the correct meaning to come out.  Keith was gracious and he will let me know once he talks with his contacts. Keith is supposed to call me in a few weeks, but I don’t have my hopes up.  Really, I don’t think he  could understand why I called him.

How did this happen?  I want to do something different, but I can’t get it out.

What happens if I still can’t speak?  How do I work my way around that?  Regarding my plan in my October 2014 email: I still can’t do it (the scripting of calls)…even after 6 years!!! Look at what I said about Aphasia in October 2014.

I want to be of value; I just need a sign of what that will be.