Wait…ANOTHER email?

PainfulBlessingCvr-Front-for-webI know what you are going to say: not another email?  But this one is different.  He had a similar stroke that I had:

Hi Jill,

Thank you so much for the response. Yes, speech is continually a struggle for Tim as well. Probably his least favorite therapy. I agree any little gain is huge for us too because as time goes on the larger gains don’t come as frequently so celebrating the little things is the way to go. Some days however it seems like 2 steps forward 5 steps back depending on how he feels or just “if it there” that day. Some days he just can’t get his thought process of motor movement working especially with speech and the other day when he was trying to take a step. He just could not figure out how to step up a step. Something he does lots of times a day everyday and for whatever reason it just did not work that day.

I am very lucky that Tim’s attitude has always been positive. It is almost a blessing and a curse because yes he was positive and not angry or depressed but a negative because I think it took him longer to realize the importance of practice, practice, practice. I think it took him getting  tired of me not knowing what he was trying to communicate to realize that it just was not going to come without working on it.

Interesting tidbit, Tim also suffered a dissection of his carotid artery. His was the interior and it just broke off. No clot, it was just empty. The Neurologist said it looked like he suffered a trauma with stress that might have gone along with being a body builder. Tim is nowhere near the body builder type.  I follow a lot of support group feeds and I don’t see dissection too often as a cause so it thought that was interesting when I read that Gordon had a dissection as well.

In the beginning I kept trying to figure out why this happened was there something I missed, etc. But over time I have realized that I cannot focus on that because there is no answer and by constantly focusing on those things was not good for me. What kinds of things have you found to be helpful to keep your own sanity so to speak? (You know when those days creep in that put you in the mindset of can I do this, am I doing everything that I am supposed to be doing, am I making the best decisions both financially and medically for everyone, etc).

Tim…you are not alone!

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